It’s Been a While…

It’s been a while since I’ve been here, writing in this space. Life has a disturbing way of creating change in our lives, both good and bad. Looking back over everything I have been through, I can genuinely say, because of God and my village, I made it! I made it to this time and this place with the ability to write and share. I am incredibly blessed and thankful.

I want to take a moment to catch you up on where I have been what has transpired in my life, and how the happenings in my life affect my mental health to this day. I will give you a brief glance into my health, day-to-day, and work in blogs to come, I promise to go into detail about how each component is/was a pain in my ass and other places in blogs to come, along with the AUDACITY of people in general. So lets just call this the prologue to a blog mini series.

Warning; I can’t make this shit up, so buckle up!

I believe when I took my unscheduled break from my blog, it was sometime around the downswing of COVID, although COVID was still in the streets, taking people down, one victim at a time. Many people acted surprised when COVID knocked on their door. Now you knew COVID was in those streets, waiting for some poor, unexpected soul to pounce on. And pounce, COVID did. Okay enough about that, yes I am vaccinated and yes I had COVID.

So, to backtrack a bit, I had three back surgeries. Two laminectomies, and the end game was a spinal fusion. During the laminectomy period, I discovered the unfaithfulness of the individual I thought was my person; it is obvious he was never “my” person, so I decided to “checkout” (a defense mechanism I have developed to protect my mental and emotional health). More to come on that in another blog in the series. But no worries, because sometimes you have to go through things to acquire “better” things.

Moving on, I have a glitch in the way my hemoglobin functions…WTH? I refused a blood transfusion the first time it happened, however I gave consent, the second time it happened, prior to my OPEN HEART SURGERY, and thank God I did because I ended up needing a transfusion. The mystery here is I physically had no significant blood loss, but my hemoglobin was vanishing.

In other news, my migraines are back, osteoarthritis and rheumatoid arthritis have moved in, spinal stenosis, herniated disc, diverticulosis, irritable bowel syndrome (both types), a suppressed immune system, anxiety, depression, insomnia, and last but definitely not least, menopause have all taken up residence in my body. I ask my self, why? How am I still mentally intact? Am I mentally intact? The only thing I know for sure is, I AM HERE.

More to come on how I navigate my life and the drama I have no way of avoiding.

Until then, love yourself because no one will love you better than you.

Renee Danielle.