Anxiety Humans

Anxiety is triggered by many things and one of my biggest triggers are people, yep humans. I like to call them “anxiety humans”. Not all people, but the people we give most of our time and effort to. A “human” trigger can come in the form of family, friends, relationships (significant others), and it is up to us to recognize and admit that certain humans cause us anxiety. There is nothing wrong with admitting certain people literally work your nerves and cause you anxiety. As a matter of fact, the sooner you admit it, the quicker you can fix it, and the better off you will be.

For the sake of this post I will use relationships (significant others) as the example. I was in a relationship with what I thought was great human. I wanted to do everything I could for this person to ensure this person was happy, and wanted or needed for nothing. I identified a flaw in my character… I care too damn much, but is that really a flaw? I am not talking about caring for my children, or a family member. I am talking about a person I welcomed into my soul, my heart, my physical being because I wanted to be with this person, close to this person, love this person, and this particular human became my own personal hell.

You find yourself in a relationship giving, and giving, and giving yourself and this person gives you nothing but complaints about the things you do for them, unrealistic expectations, false hope, and let me not forget about the list of rules and unspoken requirements you must meet to keep this person happy. Anxiety moved in with no immediate plans to move out and there was not enough Xanax to keep me anchored. But yet, day after day, I dealt with the bull crap because I had convinced myself things would get better, or should I say that is what I wanted to believe. The longer I stayed within reach of this person the more intense my anxiety became and then one day I crashed and it clicked!

I asked myself, what exactly are you gaining from this relationship? What are the pros and cons of pouring yourself out for this person? What has this person done for me? Why am I over extending myself for this person? When I realized I was the one coming up on the short end of the relationship I made the decision to immediately make some changes, changes that would benefit my health, my heart, my life. Let this ungrateful, unappreciative, never wrong user go. It took me some time to separate myself completely from the virus of a relationship I was in, but when I did, I discovered what it felt like to breath without an “anxiety human” wrapped around my throat sucking the very air I needed to survive from my lungs.

I know that if your “anxiety human” is a family member, a child (yes this is possible), parent, or grandparent, you may not be able to simply walk away and free yourself, but there are things you can do to guide the behaviors of others when it comes to taking care of yourself. Managing if not eliminating your anxiety is the key. Easier said than done, I know. However we must learn to identify our triggers even if the trigger is human! Set boundaries with loved ones, have a conversation about your anxiety and your concerns, implement changes, and stick to it.